Boston Business Journal: No Tips
Shop Girl by Kitty Kaufman, photos by Julie Moffatt, Ellen Kaufman

After several years the editor had an idea: instead of writing about advertisers, I could do a column on how to run a business. Of course I was flattered. It sounded like consulting on the fly but still. I told myself this was good for them and me. They wanted a list of topics and this began keeping me up because I didn't have any tips. Now I would tell anyone in a startup that the first two people you want to sign with are: one, an accountant and two, a lawyer, but I didn't see where that was going to turn into a story although you would be surprised how many business people never think about those professionals at all.
I asked the editor if he had any ideas. No, he didn't and then he said, "You're the writer." It's possible I might have said I thought tips were trite but maybe not. I made a list of real-life clients.

Writers know priorities change. I had to ask when they were starting even though I knew it would be painful. Our conversation wound around as I imagined, uncomfortably, and went something like, "Well, what you wrote is fine but it isn't tips." I said, "I told you, I don't do tips." And that, as they say, was that.
Everyone does it. Sunday Parade magazine is full of tips and gossip. Frankly if I never get another tip about anything, except the market, that's soon enough and right now I don't want to hear anything about that either. But feel free to send along any gossip.
Speaking of no tips, I got what I thought was an interesting call last week. These calls never come when you are in the office at your desk. I was driving and my cell phone was in a pocket so it took quite a few rings before I could answer. The caller told me her name and the business weekly she writes for, not the same one of course, and said she was doing a prescriptive article. And I said, "What?" "Prescriptive." "What?" "Prescriptive, you know, things that businesses can do that will help them get by in hard times." Later I told two friends about it and they both said, "What's prescriptive?" I guess that's what tips are called now.

I was ready early. New York minutes slipped by. What exactly is the five-second rule when you're waiting? Is it 10 minutes or 20? Like waiting for a guy to call you after a date; how do you know if he's playing by three- or seven-day rules?

No, nobody ever called back and too bad no one is looking for tips or prescriptives today. This is probably as good a time as any, I'm guessing, to get started either on secrets of life or, what did you expect?
© October 13, 2008
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Kitty@corp-edge.com
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Italian Western

Fine kettle of fish

Food, and art

Red hot and blue

Yes, we have no meatballs

Meatballs and calamari in Roslindale

Pon cooks with fire

Happy, happy new year

New York state of mind

Industry standard

Ta dah

Eat dessert first